Email signatures updated for our dystopian hellscape

Before printing this email, please consider your mortality

. . .

Thank you for your email. I am out of the office on holiday and out of my mind with terror.

. . .

Connect with me on LinkedIn if you want to live

. . .

Office:
Cell:
Satellite:
Designated safe harbor:

. . .

Dance like Mark Zuckerberg is watching and sending the video to Cambridge Analytica

. . .

Our office will be open on Saturday and Sunday, May 5th & 6th, 2018, in honor of the new Valuing America’s Workforce holiday. We will respond to your email anytime, because it is mandated.

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